Frequently Asked Questions

How do I become a member?

You can either be invited by someone who's already a member or you can apply through our membership form. Once your application is approved we'll send you an email with a link to join the website.

Why hasn't my membership been approved yet?

We are sending out the invites in batches according to area. Once there is a reasonable amount of applications by people from one area, we will approve their memberships. If you're desperate to join you can try contacting us and we'll see what we can do.

How much does it cost?

Nothing. This site is free to use and it’s free to apply to dinner parties.

Who is this site aimed at?

People who love cooking, food and dinner parties.

How is it different from Come Dine With Me?

Secret Dinner Party isn’t affiliated with Come Dine With Me in any way. There are some distinct differences:

If you’re a guest at a dinner party, you’re not expected to invite everyone to a dinner party of your own.
There isn’t a £1000 prize
Don’t go through people’s houses unaccompanied
You can sign up as a couple or a group of 3
The host chooses the guests they have round for dinner
No Dave Lamb (unless he’s one of your guests)

How is it different from a Supper Club?

Supper clubs / pop up restaurants / guestaurants / home restaurants have been around for years and are currently very popular in London. Supper Clubs run for profit and are generally for 6 people to 30 or more. Secret Dinner Party is more like a normal dinner party for friends, where the hosts sit down with a smaller number of guests to eat and chat with them.

Is this a dating website?

No, not at all. You can sign up as a single person, but it’s also great for couples to meet new people and make friends in their area.

Is there a prize?

Not yet. We may run competitions to give away spot prizes. For example: to the highest rated dinner parties, the best menu, the best photos, the best review, but we will let people know via the newsletter if we decide to do this.

Can I trust the members?

We trust our members and it’s very rare that you will have problems, but we can’t be held responsible if anything happens. In our experience, the kind of people who sign up for our site are very friendly, outgoing and polite. We will take any breach of our terms and conditions or the law very seriously. Read our guide on staying safe.

I’m too scared to host a dinner party.

Your guests are likely to be as nervous as you are, but trust us, that’s all part of the fun.

How much does it cost to host a dinner party?

SecretDinnerParty.com will never charge you for hosting a dinner party, but you will have to pay for the event yourselves. From our experience it usually costs about £15 per person for the ingredients (obviously depending on your menu).

Can I ask the guests for money?

If you’re a bit hard up then you can say something like “Suggested donation £15” in the info, but you’re more likely to have members apply or member’s invite you to their dinner party if you provide it for free.

Can the guests bring the courses?

We’re currently working on adding this functionality to the website, but you can say something like “Starter provided by guests” in your menu. Just be sure that you add the actual dish to your menu when you know what the guests are bringing, because it is going to be rated by all the guests after the event.

How long do I have to wait between putting the dinner party online and hosting the event?

When you create your dinner party you must select a date more than 16 days in the future.

Why 16 days?

This gives your dinner party 4 days on the site for people to see your dinner party and apply for an invite, 2 days to choose your guests, 2 days for the guests to confirm they can still make it or cancel. Then if someone cancels then you need time to invite other people, then 2 days for them to confirm.

What happens if someone cancels?

If there is enough time to find a replacement then you can send an invite to someone you know, choose someone that you declined originally or choose to carry on without those people.

Is it only for strangers?

No. It’s also fun to have a mix of friends and friends-of-friends and strangers.

How can I invite people?

You can invite contacts from your Gmail, Hotmail, Yahoo, your Twitter followers or just plain email addresses.

Should I bring my own drinks?

Yes. The host isn’t expected to provide drinks for you. A good tip is to try to bring more than you think you’d need because the leftovers can be left for the host.

Should I bring a gift for the host?

It’s a nice gesture to bring a gift. Bringing a bottle of wine and then drinking it yourselves during the meal is not a nice present. Flowers, cookbooks, an amazon voucher are all good presents to bring. See our shop for other suggestions.

What if I need to cancel?

As soon as you know you can’t make it, let the host know by sending them an email through the site and cancelling your application by going to the “My Account” section of the site and clicking “Cancel Application” in your list of applications.

Do I have to host one back?

It’s not required, but if you enjoyed yourself at a dinner party then why not host one back? You don’t need to invite the other guests, just the hosts. And if you bought them a nice gift, then maybe they will return the favour?